Breaking News
WECLOME TO FART COURT — where allegations of flatulence are taken seriously and investigated accordingly.
Today’s suspect … Ronnie O’Sullivan, a star snooker player from England, who appeared to rip a humungous fart during competition this week but tried to blame it on the judge.
The evidence … Ronnie — aka “The Rocket” — was participating in the Northern Ireland Open on Wednesday, competing against Matthew Stevens when someone tore ass.
The arena was basically empty due to COVID — so the only people in the room were the players and officials.
In other words, you could hear a pin drop … or this case, a buttcheek ripple.
The poot was so loud, everyone took notice — including the announcers who immediately cracked jokes and began to suggest Ronnie was the flatulator.
But, Ronnie didn’t take the blame initially — instead, looking at an official and asking, “Was that you?!”
J’ACCUSE!!!
But, the denial didn’t last long, Ronnie eventually copped to the anal honk … saying after the match, “I dropped my guts — I am taking full ownership of that. I have had stomach problems for a couple of months.”
He continued, “I did say ‘Was that you’ to the referee but, I am proud of that one.”
Tournament officials were also asked about the incident — and confirmed O’Sullivan as the master blaster.
So, there you have … Ronnie — GUILTY AS CHARGED!!
Case (and sphincter) closed.
