Lauren Bushnell revealed in a candid blog post that she feared she couldn’t have kids after struggling to conceive with husband Chris Lane and “prayed every day for months” that she would get pregnant.
In a post titled “Journey to Baby,” the Bachelor alum, 30, admitted that for years, even before she met the country singer, she “had this worry that I would be unable to have children.”
Five months after the couple wed in October 2019, she went off birth control. “We weren’t actively ‘trying’ but we definitely were excited about the idea of getting pregnant,” she wrote. “Most of my friends who have children seemed to get pregnant the day they stopped taking the pill and without much thought. I spent so much of my life thinking that was the way getting pregnant worked but also simultaneously had this fear that it wouldn’t work that way for me.. does this make any sense? Anxiety is weird haha.”
“After four to five months of trying, worry started to enter my mind, not quite understanding why I wasn’t pregnant,” Bushnell continued. “I couldn’t help but compare my situation with those of my friends who it happened very easily for, a lot of the time unplanned. Mentally, this was a really hard part of the journey … I assumed there was something wrong with me. Chris would see how disappointed and worried I would get and I could tell he felt really bad.”
After consulting a doctor, she started using ovulation strips and home progesterone tests.
“It took a couple months of doing these two things, but I think what really helped was getting answers in those two months of ‘yes, you are ovulating, and yes, your progesterone is where it needs to be,’” the former flight attendant admitted. “That confirmation calmed my mind, stress, and worry and it allowed me to let go.”
Bushnell, who was previously engaged to Bachelor Ben Higgins, found out she was pregnant at the end of September. “I had a weird feeling that I was pregnant,” she wrote. “At the same time, I was very mistrusting of this sudden ‘gut feeling’ because at that point I had taken 200 pregnancy tests within six months with no positive test (ok maybe not that many but felt like it haha).”
After one test seemed inconclusive, they went to the grocery store and bought a digital test.
“It clearly read the words ‘pregnant,’” Bushnell continued. “I was shocked but still didn’t want to get my hopes up. After so many let downs, negative tests, and knowing my mom had miscarriages between all 4 children, I couldn’t help but be cautious. I hate that my anxiety robbed the joy of that first positive test, but as time went on, and especially after my first doctor appointment, I was finally able to let go of my anxiety.”
The former reality star, who announced her pregnancy in November and revealed the sex of the couple’s first child on Friday, added that her “joy has only gotten deeper as it becomes more real and as I get further along in the pregnancy I feel more comfortable fully allowing myself to celebrate and connect with this baby boy.”
The mom-to-be ended her post about her “exhausting and emotional journey,” with a note for those struggling to conceive.
“Pregnancy truly is a miracle and I’ll never take that for granted,” she concluded. “We prayed every day for months and obviously our prayer was answered, but I know there are a lot of unanswered prayers out there. So many women who are quietly struggling and I’m thinking about every single one of you. I pray for hope and peace for everyone reading this struggling. Miracles happen every single day.”
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